Sunday MorningsPosted: March 20, 2012
I love getting Reuben and Gabriella dressed for church on Sunday morning. It’s our opportunity to wear clothes that aren’t really appropriate for our day-to-day lives, but are perfect for going to church in our Sunday best. Once I get them all dressed and realize how adorable they look, I just have to take a picture. And so it begins…
Gabriella looks adorable, Reuben’s not looking at the camera.
Gabriella still looks adorable, Reuben is highly annoyed.
I start my antics to get Gabriella to keep looking at the camera, and Reuben starts waving his hand at me to make sure I don’t forget about him.
I place Reuben’s arm around Gabriella and she seems less than thrilled.
Reuben is smiling, but not looking at the camera.
At least he’s being sweet to her and not pushing her off the chair.
Reuben’s looking, Gabriella isn’t.
Gabriella’s looking, Reuben isn’t.
Again with the antics to get Gabriella to look and again with the jealousy-stricken Reuben waving at me.
They’ve both given up looking at me.
I’ve now bribed Reuben with a prize if he’ll look at the camera. Gabriella currently isn’t accepting bribes.
Now, Reuben is cracking up and Gabriella is staring at her crazy mother behind the camera.
And…they’re bored to tears.
Maybe if I turn the camera sideways, I’ll get the perfect picture. No such luck.
After all that, I choose the very first picture I took, load it into Instagram, add a pretty filter, and post it to all of social media so everyone can see my adorable children and be led to believe that we are living a perfect life full of butterflies and lollipops.
Once the picture is posted, I realize that I am sweating profusely and need another shower. There is no time for that so I rush around, grab everyone’s bags, diapers, juice, offering, etc, and hurriedly coax Reuben into the van, all while lugging Gabriella, in her car seat carrier for a total of approximately 25+ lbs, on my hip. Once we finally get in the van, I crank up the AC and point the air directly in my face so I can hopefully cool off on the short drive to church. While at the stop lights, I do my make up in the rear view mirror and answer the 1500 questions Reuben has about anything and everything under the sun. We finally arrive at the church and I’m in a bad mood and feeling sorry for myself. I dream of how wonderful it must be to go to church as a family…to have the help of my husband on Sunday mornings…so we can arrive at church stress free. But, alas, I’m a worship pastor’s wife, so my dream is just that…a dream, not too soon to be a reality.
The last two Sundays that I have pulled up in the parking lot with my stinky attitude, I have been smacked in the face with a dose of perspective in the form of a widow and a military wife. I have literally stopped dead in my tracks, taken a deep breath, and allowed myself to have a moment of remorse for my lack of gratitude.
Yes, it is hard to get to church every Sunday on my own with both kids. Yes, I do wish Nick was able to help me. But, the reality is, he is available to help me…as soon as we get to church, as soon as church is over, every night when he comes home from work, and every weekend in between and around church services. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be doing this on my own, with no breaks in sight, and no husband to rush in and save the day when I’m one Zoloft away from a mental breakdown.
So…this is an ode to the moms who are doing this on their own…while her husband is off at war, because she lost her husband way too soon, while her husband is traveling for work, or because of some other unnamed reason.
I admire you. I applaud you. I respect you. I’m impressed by you. I’m inspired by you.
I commit to you to be thankful for what I have and to be careful not to allow my stinky attitude to overshadow my perspective of the blessings that I have. I also commit to pray for you, check on you, and support you.
Know that you are not forgotten and you are not alone.
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.